tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 25, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
neighborhoods may tst text1 italics cc1 test message and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel l le"! tonight, chris pine -- from "pride and prejudice and zombies," lena headey -- and music fromanic! at the disco with cleto and the cletones. and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. i'm glad you're here. i'm glad i'm here. i tell you, a lot of people, i don't know how many of you are visiting from the east coast but a lot of people who were got stranded here over the weekend. there was too much snow to fly home. they canceled the flights. there was more than 2 feet of snow in washington, d.c. and new york. parts of west virginia got 3 1/2 feet. thank got we have instagram or know? all nonessential federal workers in washington, d.c. were told to stay home today. how do you know if you're nonessenal? do they call you? steve, i have some good news and some bad news. good news is you have the day off today. bad news, you're worthless. along with winter storm jonas as they call it came many amusing weather reports over the weekend
>> now it is really just coming down very, very heavily and that is why there's such a stern warning from mayor de blasio for people to stay home at all costs. he warned kids -- look it, see what happened here? that's why. that's why, i d n't know if you saw the kid fall here. that is why the mayor's urging people -- are you okay? geez. it is very slippery here. >> jimmy: poor kid still hasn't made it home. this is good. this is a live report from virginia where one local reporter found herself at the corner of maybe the worst intersection ever. >> -- cominin down about an hour now. i'm right here in downtown danville at the corner of main street and crackhead street -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. hell of an address. i ess it's crag head street but i like crackhead street better. i propose a name change. whenever there's a aajor storm the local news channels scramble
to help them full-time. the nbc affiliate in washington, d.c. got on the phone with somebody who they though was with the virginia department of transportation. listen very closelyly because you will be able to understand very clearly that the person on the other end of the phone is pulling a prank. but for some reason these news anchors remain completely oblivious to this. >> now to the virginia department of transportation, v-dot, jason bond on the phone, how's it looking for you guys thisi morning? >> i'd say it's a rough morning for sure. we're busy -- a lot of our trucks are getting held up a bit. it's a lot bigger than what they expected. >> disabled vehicles, there were just as many stranded cars like the ones that we're seeing on the video here. >> yeah, i mean -- >> that is a problem if. >> that's a prime example. my drug dealer and my prostitute were on the way, you know. they couldn't get it delivered, you know. i couldn't believe it. >> so for people thaha are traveling now or that need to,
>> stay hunkered down as long as possible. and then, you know, check the main roads, call your friends, family, use your network to see if it's passable. if it's not, don't take a chance, there's no reason for it. you know, the prostitutes will be there tomorrow morning. you know, you can have a good time then. >> what are your road crewsws -- what kind of shifts are they working on to keep these roads clear? >> these guys are working -- i hate to say it, but almost 20 hours, you know? and those good call girls in the hotel, they just stay there, you know? >> thank you so much, jason bond, bringing us up to speed on the conditions. >> jimmy: that's what happens when your coanchor is 10 years old. [ cheers and applaus] how does that happen? is it possible that their earholes are frozen shut? to me theword "prostitute" on a phone call stands out6 the good news is people are keeping busy while they're cooped up.
that's been lost in all the commotion about the snow is today is bubble wrap appreciation day. this is an annual holiday on which we celebrate bubble wrap. and heap scorn on the accursed packing peanuts that would seek to destroy it. bubble wrap is one of the simple, unexplainable pleasures of life. an tonight to really go nuts and enjoy it, here is our own guillermo riding a bubble wrap bicycle. guillermo, come on in. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo. i like the hat g thank you! >> jimmy: there he goes. wow. [ cheers and applause ]
that was beautiful and wasteful, you kn? so happy bubble wrap appreciation day to you. you know, i tell you something, if you're an employee at mailboxes, et cetera, every day is bubble wrap appreciation day. d you watch the football games yesterday in the matchup for super bowl 50 is set. it's the guy from the under armour commercials against the guy from the papa john's commercials. the panthers versus the broncos. three weeks ago wasn't this the year peyton manning turned to st? where he got benched, there was talk they might haha to put him to sleep? quite the contrara. carolina beat arizona, then broncos first beat the defending champion patriots in a very tight g ge that ended when tom brady threw an interception in the end zone. poor tom brady. nothing ever seems to go right for that guy. [ laughter ] a huge tv audience, 53 million americans watched manning and brady play for the 17th time in their careers.
this is peyton manning, not eli manning. eli plays for giants. giants did not make the playoffs, which cbs new york seemed unaware. >> later tom brady and eli manning could face off one last time this weekend, from favorite movies to favorite food, how the two men differ off the field. >> jimmy: well, they got the tom brady part right. i do the same with kylie and kendall jenner, i can't tell which is which. in elk mont, alabama, last weekend a dog got loose and the dog happened upon a half marathon. they had a half marathon going onon the dog saw all the people and just started running with them. you see the dog there. she's a 2 1/2-year-o hound dog named ludavine. sounds like some medication for menopause. she didh well. she finished seventh place. she might have finished higher if she hadn't stopp every once butts. imagine committing months and
marathon, random lost dog get in the race, beats you. it's like the new hair bun. send that dog to kenya. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. very loud. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hay bubble wp day. you unow da vinci invented that thing. i mentioned earlier it's very cold on the east coast. it's very not cold he. it was sunny and 71 degrees today in l.a. and we have a tendency to -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: to rub it in. well, like we just did there. i know people this weekend who are tagging their friends in new
shorts, just to be a jerk. so i don't approve of this kind of taunting. we sent cousin sal to the beach where people were relaxing on the beach with a bucket of snowballs and karma on his mind. >> i'm ella. >> i'm ashley and we're from usc. >> hope you're having fun in that blizzard. >> wish you clde here in sunny california. >> but you can't because you're snowed in! >> sal: you're snowed in! you're snowed in! >> just want to wish everybody back east a [ bleep ] up winter. go see "the revenant"nd "the hateful 8" and have a drink for me. >> sal: snowballed! "hateful 8" what's up? come on, dog.
the sand, call me and i'll tell you how warm it is here. >> sal: snowballed! she's playful, this one. >> i'm darius from southern california. i hope you're having fun in the snow, suckers! >> sal: snow bucket! >> have fun enjoying that blizzard in jersey, wouldn't trade places with you guys for anything. >> sal: snow bucket, snowballs! >> hope you're enjoying the blizzard. >> sal: snowballs! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he better not be here. we're going to take a break. when we come back, i'm gun shy because he usually hits me with a snowball which might happen. when we come back i will dissect tonight's episode of "the bachelor" and chris pine is here
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i do think our ridede arriving. >> stop it. >> jojo's taking a helicopter, i knew it. >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: well. [ cheers and applause ] unfortunately they were blown over the side of the building and killed so the show's over. they're dead. that was the one-on-onedate. during the group date, the ladies were asked/forced to participate in a talent show. which is a big reason why these women are on "the bachelor" in the first place, b@cause they have no talent. their talent is looking good in a cocktail dress. it's kind of an unfair position to put them in. during the talent show, olivia who's taken over as the nutty one since lace bolted the show jumped out of a fake cake wearing skimpy lingerieawn jer way at a
it was more a cry for help than a talent show. that was nowhere near as awkward as when ben the bachelor went to the twins' house. they have tqins on the show. halley and emily. who happen to live in las vegas. so they took ben to their mom's house. wheje he eliminated one of them. at mom's house. one of them. even though as you can see here there's a very good chance ben esn't know which one is which. >> being here today has been really nice for me to see. this is a unique situation because of just how much i do care for you and for you. >> jimmy: whatever. whatever your names are. can you imagine being the identical twin that gets eliminated? i find you attractive, i just don't like your personality. did you watch "the bachelor" guililrmo? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: you do not, no? >> guillermo: i'll dvr but i haven't watched it. >> jimmy: but you do have it on
>> jimmy: okay, good, all right. back to the snow. on the east coast a lot of the schools will be closed tomorrow, which is great if you're a kid. not so great for parents, especially parents who work. so tonight i think we found a way to make this fun for everyone. here now to sing some of tomorrow's real school closings these are actual schools that will not ben session tomorrow because of weather. please welcome chris pine, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, jimmy. ladies and gentlemen, back east it's real coldld us here in california, thearm center of the universe, we'd like to say a couple things. oh the weather outside is snowy look at that going to school would sure be blowy well tonight i'm here to let you know
schools are closed schools are closed kids mac m m necessary middle school charles j j hudson too marksville elementary and ronald reagan academy woodland high center john e. dwyer tech lake riviera middle school and alexander hamilton prep aquinas montessori jerome dunn academy saint hubert saint tom st. joe's schools are closed schools are closed schools are closed
oh you're in luck learning sucks go home schools are closed [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: beautifully done. two sets of mittens, everybody. and no shoes. chris pine! tonight on the show, music from panic at the disco, lena headey. be right back! [ eers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by icy hot smart relief tens therapy. turn on smart relief and turn
[ eers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight from "game of thrones" and the new movie "pride and prejudice and zombies," lena headey is here with us. then the new album premiered at number one on the billboard charts. it's called "death of a bachelor." panic at the disco on the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night jack black, music from linita smith. later this week shaquille o'neal, ewan mcgregor, alison brie, hannibal burress, music from banners and tory lane so please join us for all that. you know our first guest tonight from the "star trek" series, "into the woods," starting friday he takes to the sea in the true life adventure "the
please say hello to chris pine! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first may i y, you really have a beautiful singing voice. it's really unbelievable. >> man, i had so much fun with that. >> jimmy: and you smell good too which makes sense for a guy whose n ne is pine. >> i doused myself by patchouli. >> jimmy: that is what that is? >> i'm in a patchouli phase. >> jimmy: that's not a good thing. >> i think itt is, no? >> jimmy: no, it isn't. it goes -- yeah. i know it smells nice now. wearing pa chum lypa chulely, people say i don't have to bathe anymore, i have patchouli. >> i think delicately done. >> jimmy: i hate to put you on the spot. i have a movie project for the two of us. >> shoot. >> jimmy: we'd be playing these guys billy and sean. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: there they are. they're here from cleveland. >> where are you from? cleveland, ohio? >> jimmy: they're here -- let me tell you about it. i know you were changing. billy was -- billy's aunt -- billy's aunt is trying to get his cousin into porn. [ laughter ] >> legitimately? you into porn? >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> model. >> jimmy: he's in online high school -- >> what? >> jimmy: porn is what it means. >> is there online high school. >> jimmy: he's going to it. he's the quarterback of the online high school football team. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> that is a killer sweater, dude. >> jimmy: that's right. yeah. degree. yes. >> that's very lebowski-ish. >> jimmy: i believe that't' patagonia, yes?
>> jimmy: there you go,okay. so we'll get sweaters like that. pick whichever one you wanan to be. i think sean, i'm going to have to play you. you being the more handsome one. the script really writes itself. >> when do we start? >> i'm preceded. >> jimmy: production begins tonight. >> tonight, yeah. >> jimmy: we have to do it quick before tragedy befalls. you just flew in from london? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you're working, i presume? >> i'm doing a film called "wonder woman." >> jimmy: oh, you play wonder woman? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> very progressive piece of film making. >> jimmy: you're in "wonder woman." >> i tray steve trevor, for you that know the lore, wonder woman's the better half. >> jimmy: ah. there's a mr. wonder woman, i didn't know that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they're not married, though, right? >> i mean, i can't get into the
but -- yeah. i'm a stay at home dad kind of guy. >> jimmy: wonder woman's married, wow. what is it like to play a superhero's boyfriend? you don't see that very much. >> it's great. >> jimmy: do you have powers? >> none. absolutely none. >> jimmy: who talked you into this? >> you know, it's -- i seekk out -- a lady named gal gidot's in it. >> jimmy: i see her in trailers and stuff. xrp [ cheers and applause ] >> she's doing a wonderful job, remarkable job. >> jimmy: do you fly the invisible plane? is that part of the thing, the invisible plane? >> the invisible plane? >> jimmy: you don't know -- wonder woman has an invisible plane. she doesn't have it in the movie? or maybe you haven't seen it. >> tell me more about the invisible plane. >> jimmy: wonder woman flies in an invisible plane. you just see her in the sky
does she have the golden lasso?0 >> i can't talk about specifics. >> jimmy: oh. wow. i don't know if you're pulling me leg or if there reay isn't an invisible plane. i hope there is. there better be. >> there's all sorts of fun stuff. it takes place@in world war i. really honestly, for all of these big-time films, they're fun and tion-packed and the whole bit, i'm being honest. i think what's really neat about it is with all of the -- whatever, the thor's, captain kirks, i feel with men it's always this revenge cycle thing. an eye for an eye. we're going to get the bad guys and the the bad guys are defeated. what i think is lovely having a woman at the helm of something like this, by virtue of her being a woman, there's a greatat deal more compassion and love at the center of the story. which for something as big as a film as this is going to be with the kind of eyes that will watch it, i think i is a wonderful -- the little bit that we can do to
towards something not as aggressive. >> jimmy: because you look at "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette." when there are more women in the house it tends to be more aggressive. whatever. i don't know if you guys are using that as a model? >> we have both of those women in the film, yeah. >> jimmy: is it fun to be in london shooting? is it enjoyable beg over there? >> yeah, it is. i mean, i work a lot so i don't get much time. this is the third film i've done over there. but it's great fun. i s -- spent a year in leeds during college, which is in the north of england. i've spent a great deal of time over ther >> jimmy: when you're away what do you miss about being -- you're from l.a.,rew up here. is there something that you miss? >> get off the plane, get in the car, go straiait to tacos delta on sunset boulevard. >> jimmy: tacosos delta, really. >> tacos delta. they make incredible mexican food.
>> jimmy: what do you get, what do you order? >> huevos rancheros -- depends on the time of day. >> jimmy:: do they have mexican food in london? >> they -- [ laughter ] >> you know, it's -- [ laughter ] >> it's a salsa thing. that they just don't do. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. yeah, yeah. >> at all. >> jimmy: probably because there aren't that many mexicans over there. >> probably. >> jimmy: probably has something to do with that. guillermo, that's how we're going to make our millions, open a mexican restaurant i i london. >> jimmy: yes. we need you. all right,e're going to take a break here. we got chris pine with us, the movie "the finest hour." [ cheers and applause ]
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seconds, boys! >> fire it up! >> jimmy: that is chris pine in "the finest hour" out friday. you know, casey affleck, your costar, was here. he was talking about it saying it was terrible shooting the movie because you're basically drowning the whole time. >> i mean, it's 12 hours a day of being dumped on. they have these huge fans that blow wind in your face. then they have these little like soap machines to make fake snow. they've giant dump tks full of hundreds of gallons of water that somehow in four months of shooting they never figured out how to heat. we were shooting in quincy, mass in the old shipyards in quincy, mass. these giant sardine can
these ships back in the day. >> jimmy: i think you did a nice job with the boston accent. with that accent. you have to because if you don't people in boston -- >> petrified. >> jimmy: you'd never be able to go there. >> no, no. >> jimmy: they are very critical. of almost everything, real. but especially that. >> i mean, it was everyone for -- we'd have the teamsters and then the grips and then casey and tn ben foster, ben's from boston. i had a whole gro of people that were there to -- well, giving me what they thought were helpful hints, which just turned out to be -- just awful. >> jimmy: really? >> just like little -- they're little people in your ears talking about, it's not like that, chris, it'sot like that. >> jimmy: like what are the subtleties that they thought you were missing? >> i'll tell you, the one that always got me was the "o." like not.
"not." noooo ochlto nooooh. boston i think it goes naught. bought. you still over that vowel. >> jimmy: like the patriots are naught in the super bowl. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> dicky: they're not, jimmy. >> jimmy: they are not. they are naught. so i heard you did standup comedy, when was that? >> i didn't do -- as in like a progressive -- i did it once. for manufacturefive minutes. back -- this thingalled the william sound theater festival outside of new york. every summer people make theater. lewis black was there for the summer and he was kind of the -- he was the comedian in residence. we'd have cabarets to celebrate
he gave a standup class, we all had to prepp material and do five minutes onstage for everybody. which was -- which was i'm sure easier t tn it would be at the laugh-in. you have a bunch of people that like you and want you to do well so it wasn't all that awful. it was the closest i felt to feeling naked on stage. >> jimmy: what did you talk about? >> what was my bit? i think i talked about what parents me you do when you don't want to do whatever it is. so i talked about my father -- my father laughing at me from thth porch while my mom dragged me to sunday school. then i had a bit about going -- i went to this camp when i was a kid where they made you -- they only let you shower every third day but with a garden hose. >> jimmy: what? >> i'm talking about this. >> jimmy: are you sure this
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: the other kids, did they seem tough and tattooed? >> yeah, i only got shanked three times. so the garden hose thing. and then there was a -- like a squirrel infestation. so half the time we would be hunting squirrels. >> jimmy: with guns? >> yes, about it guns. yeah. and this was just to keep the population in check. this is not like -- it wasn't for gross sport, killing squirrels. >> jimmy: right. >> and -- i remember goingut and i clipped -- i felt awfully about it -- i clipped this poor squirrel in the tail. felt awfully about it. ran back to my -- weidn't even have tents. we were sleeping outside. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> ran to thth fire hose, the garden hose. anyway. it didn't go as dark as i planned it to go.
like therapy than standup comedy. >> needless to say i never went back again. five minutes. this is why i'm not a standup [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you smell good, you sounded great, the movie is great. "the finest hours." it's a true story, opens on friday. >> true stori. >> jimmy: and look for chris and i and billy and sean, that will be coming out at a date tbd.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, music from panic at the disco. our next guest is the world's most popular evil queen. you know herrom "game of thrones." next, you can see her fight the literary undead in "pride and prejudice and zombies." it opens in theaters next friday.
>> jimmy: i say this every time but it's always weird to see you in regular clothes looking like a regular person and not a royal. >> evil queen, yes. >> jimmy: an evil royal. by the way, congratulations. i know you have a baby. you had a baby since the last time you were here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. >> a little lady. >> jimmy: a little girl. you're enjoying her? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: yeah, good, good. >> i'm enjoying her not so much at night. as much fun. >> no, they love the waking. >> no. >> jimmy: no, no. >> i like to go in and say, what are you doing? she's like that. for hours on end. >> jimmy: at least she's smiling. not crying. >> totally smiling. >> sometimes if they keep smiling like that, you realize they grow up crazy. >> that is possible. >> jimmy: that happened to me, yeah. so were you pregnant when you were shooting "game of thrones" >> yes. towards the end of the season.
season. so that famous scene, which is really i think one of the great scenes in the history of television, where the shame, shame, and circe's walking through the people, is that why they digitally put your head on the woman's body? >> no. >> jimmy: that's not why? >> i'd like to claim that was why. no. it was an intense three days of complete nudity. and because of the show, because people know it and they know us, it was a little close for my liking. >> there's a lot of -- >> i know those people now. >> jimmy: not exactly a closed set, yeah. it's amazing they could take your head and put it on another person's body. i mean, it really is like sciee fiction. it's unbelievable. >> it's bizarre. >> jimmy: a yeah, i wish they would do that to me. >> would you want boobs? >> jimmy: i already have them,
i saw a photograph of you having -- getting lice pulled out of your head? >> i don't know what you're talking about. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, did you have lice? >> i did have lice. >> jimmy: you u d have lice. who gave you lice? >> my son. >> jimmy: for mother's day? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> it was a late mother's day gift. >> jimmy: wow. lice is still going on, huh? >> it is, yeah. they love clean hair so i feel blesse >> jimmy: that lice like clean hair? >> yes. >> jimmy: is that what the guy with the tweezers told you? they like clean hair? >> yeah, you're fine. >> jimmy: it's really a dplimt. >> a huge compliment from nature. >> jimmy: where was this? in england or this was -- >> it was here. >> jimmy: it was here? >> that's kind of weird. i thout, no, that can't happen to me. i've done that when i was 7, my grandma pouring acid on my head in the kitchen. i went to the lady and i was like, i'm sure i haven't.
>> jimim: how does the lady at the lice place not have lice all the time? >> they kinddf tie everything up. it's a whole crazy thing. >> jimmy: w we you mad at your son for giving you lice? >> no. >> jimmy: do you watch "the bachelor"? >> i've never seenn it. >> no. >> jimmy: okay. because they have -- well, of course one of the great t tngs that you do on "game of thrones," your character, you say the meanest things in a very cool way. you insult the others. you actually threaten them, that sort othing. and this happens on "the bachelor" as well with the women. and they also are drinking, as you do. so i thought it might be fun. we put some of the real lines from the show this year in our teleprompter for you to read th in character, if you would. >> okay. >> jimmy: i know you're not
but we do have, guillermo, bring a goblet ofine. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we had fun the last time you were here, you read some things in character. now these are actual l les from "the bachelor" this season. so just go ahead and look at the -- yeah, there you go. okay. >> i'm blind. >> jimmy: we'll give you mood lighting to set it up. >> i don't think there's one girl here who's competition. i think i'm way y ettier than everyone else. [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to punch her in the face. like seriously. let's be honest. he wants to [ bleep ] a virgin.
[ cheers and applause ] i think her boobs are fake, but it's okay. but you can tell that they're fake. and her breath is horrible. i wonder if they've kissed because i'm sure he smells what i smell. [ bleep ] bitches. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well done. this. >> i put nits in it. >> jimmy: tell us about "pride and prejudice and zombies." how did zombies get in there? >>t's a classic retelling of "pride and prejudice." it's kind of bonkers and fun and weirdly has a sort of small indie vibe to it. you know, as an actor you get to do crazy things sometimes. and i was like, whynot? sounds like a good ride. >> jimmy: yeah, well, it's
this is based on a true story? >> yes. yes, it's currently happening. you. thank you for doing this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i got caugug up in it, "game of thrones." lena headey, "pride and prejudice and prombies" opens in theaters next friday. be right back with panic at the [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel
presented by samsung. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: thanks to chris pine, thanks to lena headey, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first their album is called "death of a bachelor." here with the song "victorious," panic at the disco! tonight we are victorious champagne pouring over us all my friends were glorious tonight we are victorious oh oh oh oh ohh--
oh oh oh oh ohh-- double bule disco queen headed to the guillotine skin as cool as steve mcqueen let me be your killer king it hurts until it stops we will love until it's not i'm a killing spree in white eyes like broken christmas lights my touch is black and poisonous and nothing like my punch dru kiss i know you need it do you feel it drink the water drink the wine oh we gotta turn up the crazy livin' like a washed-up celebrity shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of july until we feel alright
i'm like a scarf trick it's all up the sleeve i taste like magic waves that swallow quick and deep throw the bait catch the shar bleed the water red fifty words for murder and i'm every one of them my touch is black and poisonous and nothing like my punch drunk kiss i know you need it do you feel it drink the water drink the wine oh we gotta turn up the crazy livin' like a washed-up celebrity shooting fireworks like it's the fourth of july tonight we are victorious champagne uring over us all my friends were grious tonight we are victorious tonight we are victorious champagne pouring over us all my friends were glorious tonight we are victorious oh gotta